Abort Mission

Rich lewis
Jan 13
2 min read

A Review of Champion’s Missile IPA (From Someone Who Hates IPAs)

By: Nomads Gambit

Score: 2.2

Location: Charlottesville, VA

I’ll be the first to admit it: I wanted to be that cool craft beer guy. I wanted to sit in a taproom, take a contemplative sip of something called "Missile," and talk about "piney notes" and "citrus finishes" like I’m a professional sommelier.

So, I picked up a six pack of Missile IPA from Champion Brewing Company. The can looks awesome. It’s got that retro, industrial vibe that screams "American Craft."

But after the first sip? I realized I’m not that guy. In fact, if this beer is a "Missile," it was a direct hit on my taste buds, and I’m currently waving a white flag.

The Stats

Beer: Missile IPA
Style: American IPA (The "Old School" Kind)
ABV: 7.0%
The Price of Admission: ~$12.99 (Which is roughly two packs of the German Pilsner I actually liked)

The Pour: The Calm Before the Storm

I’ll give it this: it looks great in a glass. It’s a clear, golden amber with a nice frothy head. If you were just looking at it, you’d think, "Man, that looks refreshing."

The Nose: I stuck my nose in and... well, it smells like the outdoors. But not the nice "picnic in the park" outdoors. More like "I just bit into a pine branch while rubbing a grapefruit on my face" outdoors. The citrus and pine aromas are intense.

The Taste: The "Bitter Bomb"

I took a sip, waiting for that "balanced" flavor the experts talk about.

What I expected: A nice, crisp beer with a hint of fruit. What I got: Instant regret.

This beer has an aggressive bitterness that just doesn't quit. IPA fans call this "hop-forward." I call it "medicinal." It has that classic West Coast IPA profile where the bitterness is designed to linger on your tongue long after you've swallowed.

The dry hopping with Simcoe and Cascade hops makes it taste like a concentrated herb garden. I kept waiting for the "malt backbone" to show up and save me, but the hops were already busy occupying my entire palate.

The Verdict: It’s Not You, It’s Me

Look, I’m not going to tell you this is a bad beer. People who love IPAs seem to adore this stuff. It’s well made, it’s local, and it definitely delivers on its promise of a "firm bitterness."

But if you’re like me if you prefer the bready goodness of a Maguire’s Stout or the clean finish of a German Lager—this missile is going to miss the mark.